


Scratching an Unexpected Itch

by Eggsyobsessed



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Beards (Facial Hair), Eggsy Unwin is a Little Shit, Hand Jobs, It Gets Sort of Cracky, Kissing, M/M, Merlin is a Little Shit (Kingsman), Rimming, Scruffy Merlin, scruff - Freeform, then smutty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-22 17:14:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30042039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eggsyobsessed/pseuds/Eggsyobsessed
Summary: Eggsy was away on mission, comes home after a week, and he's excited to return to his husband, until he isn't. Merlin's grown a beard, Eggsy hasn't ever seen his husband with facial hair, and makes it well known his displeasure on the matter. Merlin tries to convince him all the things it could be good for, realizing he isn't making any headway with a discussion, and decides to SHOW Eggsy how beneficial they can be.
Relationships: Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Comments: 7
Kudos: 31





	Scratching an Unexpected Itch

**Author's Note:**

> Fic is inspired by Mark Strong's Instagram post...if you haven't seen it, go watch. 
> 
> https://www.instagram.com/p/CMW66TzA8jV/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
> 
> Shout out to anarchycox, who provided the title, she is just the best <3

Eggsy finished up a week-long assignment in Japan, hopped on a plane, and headed back to London. He’d texted Merlin the entire flight, mostly because he really missed him and he hadn’t been the handler to wrap up his mission. Which meant Mordred would be the one expecting a full report, verbal at the very least, when he departed the plane.

Good thing their jet was kitted out with a full bed, at least that was one perk about the new update. Since their last jet was upgraded, Merlin ensured this one was bigger with more amenities and suited for each agent before their flight; it was nice. Eggsy sent Merlin a kissy emoji, promised to come home with enough rest to spend some time with him, and turned in for the night. Or day. Time held little meaning when you traveled damn near across the globe.

“Good work, Galahad,” Mordred smiled on his return. He was a tall, bulky man, with a head of red wavy hair and a freckled face, that honestly didn’t fit the man's deep, burly voice. “You didn’t even break a bone.”

Eggsy bounced on the soles of his feet. “I know.” He grinned widely. “Think Arthur will be pleased?”

Mordred snorted, “Shocked, surely.” He looked over the two page report Eggsy found the ambition to type up at three in the morning. “Merlin will likely go into cardiac arrest when he sees this.” He held up the pages with a nod of approval. 

Eggsy wasn’t known for his timely submission of mission reports. He’d rather keep the man from having a heart attack, or any other cardiac event if he could help it. The job put enough stress and strain on the Scotsman’s heart as it was, Eggsy didn’t need to add to it. Which was why he tried to be a good boy scout this assignment, proving he COULD get the job done without any reckless behavior.

“Did he leave for the day?” Eggsy looked about the handler’s quarters.

Sometimes Merlin would wait for Eggsy in either his, or Merlin’s, private room at HQ. Eggsy even found him with Harry, sometimes. That was usually reserved for when Merlin needed to remind Harry his duties as Arthur, and that top notch, three hundred pound dog beds were not needed for the puppies in the kennels.

“Mmm,” Mordred hummed as he finished the last of Eggsy’s work. “I sent the old man home about two hours ago.”

Eggsy chuckled, “Don’t let him hear you say that.”

“Oh, I tell him daily. It’s Arthur who you don’t mention wrinkles and gray hairs around.” Eggsy shook his head. “Merlin just tosses another insult at me, it’s a healthy work relationship.” Eggsy figured that was better than the relationship Bors and Tristan had.

He’ll never understand how dodging bullets and avoiding bombs was fun. Bors planted bombs around the mock ‘mission’ field they had set up--Eggsy liked to call it the battle field--for Tristan to find, dig up and neutralize. Bors found it fun to dodge bullets, like target practice, that Tristan fired. The two swore up and down it enhanced their skills and brought them closer together as husband’s. Eggsy forever found it the most unhealthy and psychotic relationship, but it worked for them.

“Far more healthy than Bors and Tristan,” he eventually said.

Mordred laughed, it was full bodied and caused the man to bounce. “Yeah, you’ve got a point.” He signed off on Eggsy’s mission, declaring it complete and satisfactory, and sent him on his way.

Eggsy headed off for his suite, just like he always had since he became a full fledged agent ten years ago, and washed the assignment from his body. He preferred to slip out of his role as Galahad and become Eggsy again before heading home; it was a ritual he had, making things easy for him. He dressed in well worn jeans, paired with a black t-shirt and grey jacket; it was nice and cozy and warm. On his way to his shared home with Merlin, Eggsy picked up Mexican; he was in the mood for a burrito.

He slipped through the door around seven fifteen and heard the telly going from their sitting room. Eggsy dropped house keys in a dish beside the door, toed off his trainers, and found his husband of seven years sprawled out on the sofa.

“Hey, babe,” Eggsy called. He walked fully into the room, deposited the take out containers onto the coffee table, and leaned down for a kiss. “What the fuck?” Eggsy blurted out just a hair above Merlin’s face. “What’s grown on your face?” He pulled away to properly look at his husband.

The man was as he usually was, gorgeous faced with angular features, a sharp jaw that could split marble and intense eyes that Eggsy could get lost in. Fuck, he were a work of art. Everything was in place, except for the fuzz that littered his usually bare, smooth cheeks.

Merlin grinned up at him, causing the wrinkles around his eyes to deepen, with hazel eyes that twinkled in excitement.

“Don’t you like it?” Merlin tipped his chin to graze Eggsy’s jaw.

Eggsy leaned away. “Not really,” he admitted.

It was salt and pepper in color, mostly salt and the pepper were more of a dash, and seemed as though Merlin hadn’t shaved since Eggsy left. Merlin lifted up into a sitting position as Eggsy sat beside him, staring at his face with a frown permanently embedded between his brows.

“Ye act as though I got a wig.”

Eggsy unpacked their food. “You might as well have,” he muttered under his breath. Merlin just simply shook his head and began consuming the shredded pork tacos Eggsy brought for him. Halfway through his ground beef supreme burrito, Eggsy realized something. “I’ve never seen you with hair.”

Merlin looked at him. “You’ve seen pictures.” He reminded him and grabbed a tortilla chip to scoop up the guac Eggsy ordered as a side. “I know because Harry’s shown you.”

Eggsy shook his head, “That’s not what I meant.” Merlin raised a curious brow. Eggsy gestured toward Merlin’s face with a greasy finger. “This.” Merlin rolled his eyes. “Wot? It’s not something I’m used to! Been with you for nine years, yeah? First time my husband has fuzz on his face.”

“It’s called facial hair, Eggsy. And even some people would call it scruff.” Merlin had a few more tortilla chips. “And sexy, even.” Eggsy scoffed. Merlin pressed a delicate kiss below Eggsy’s ear, his stubble scratched the surface as he did; Eggsy inched away. Merlin chuckled into his ear. “Come now, my heart. I’ve heard it makes things in the bedroom...interesting.” Eggsy could hear the eyebrow waggle without looking. “I could give ye a blowjob.”

Eggsy coughed on his orange fizzy. “You are not coming near my dick with that!” He croaked once he cleared the carbonated beverage. “All scratchy, probably would chafe me.”

Merlin giggle snorted. “Chafe you? I’ve been sucking yer dick for nearly a decade, give me more credit.” He balled up the paper wrappers that their food came in, and shoved it into the paper bag. “I’m not shaving it,” Merlin stated with finality as he stood to dispose of their trash.

“That’s fine,” Eggsy snarked. “No kisses for you, then.” He did a very adult thing to do and stuck his tongue out. “Ah! Babe!” Eggsy shrieked when Merlin tossed him over his shoulder. “Fuck!” Eggsy wheezed as Merlin whisked him away, down the hall into their bedroom, and tossed him onto the bed. “What the--” He was cut off by fierce, possessive lips that stole each word he was about to say.

Eggsy’s protest dissolved into a moan.

Merlin lifted off with hooded eyes. It were that kind of expression he had just before Eggsy was about to be fucked.

“Ye were saying?” Merlin nipped his bottom lip, gnawing it a bit between teeth, and pecked the sting away.

“Bwah?” Was all Eggsy could manage.

Merlin hovered over him with a triumphant smile spread across his face. “That’s what I thought,” he smugly murmured. His fingers trailed down Eggsy’s sides, sending shivers through his body as fingertips grazed his body, all the way to his jeans where they hooked around the waist band and tugged them down. Thank Christ he wore his loose fitted jeans, Merlin would never get them off if Eggsy had one of his tighter pairs on.

Eggsy tore his jacket and shirt off as Merlin disrobed his bottom half, perhaps he’d get lucky after being such a shit about his beard. Merlin pushed his knees apart, making room for himself to settle there, and dipped low.

“Aren’t you a bit overdressed?” Eggsy interrupted him. He waved a hand about, gesturing toward Merlin’s fully clothed body. “I’m naked, you’re still in loungers and a vest?”

Merlin’s grin was wicked as he continued his descent south. First warm lips touched the inside of his left thigh, then he felt the sweet whisper of a tingle, just the slightest brush of something prickly; Eggsy trembled with delight.

Oh fuck, bloody hell that felt amazing!

Eggsy’s thighs quivered while Merlin continued, his lips trailed down the length of his thigh and the bastard made sure a stubbled cheek grazed his skin in the process. It was like a shock wave, his blood pulsed with each touch of his lips, sending blood to his groin. He thickened, inch by inch, the closer Merlin came to his dick; Eggsy wheezed. By the time Merlin found his way to the tip, Eggsy was full thickness, waiting and ready for him to take what he could.

Merlin merely pecked the head and continued a similar torture down his right thigh; Eggsy groaned pathetically. 

He really really wanted Merlin to suck his cock. 

Though it didn't look like that wish would be granted, not with the way his mouth moved along his skin. It was completely maddening the way he kissed, nipped and suckled his flesh, making it impossible to focus on his distaste toward Merlin’s facial hair, or the lack of oral sex happening right then. Eggsy tipped up, aching for more, when Merlin’s lips simply touched his dick, again! He’d just go out of his mind mad about it all if Merlin didn’t suck his dick, but he was in no position to make such demands, especially when he could barely form two words together.

Bastard. He knew exactly what he was doing! And Eggsy made little argument about it. 

Eggsy’s hips rotated as Merlin’s breath ghosted over his taint.

Merlin’s tongue slipped out to touch the sensitive skin between his sack and arsehole. “Fuck,” Eggsy cried, fisting sheets and duvet, and tossed his head back. “Holy shit.” It was a whole other high with that fucking furry upper lip.

Merlin smiled against him and moved his head from side to side, rubbing his lips along his skin. Eggsy nearly hopped off the mattress when Merlin lay the whisper of a kiss to his arsehole. Merlin’s breath was warm and delightful when he laughed, sending a wave of shivers up Eggsy’s spine. He held Eggsy down with one hand on a thigh, stroking soothingly up and down to coax Eggsy from inching closer and closer toward the headboard.

“Easy, lad,” Merlin cautioned. “Be still, aye?” Eggsy’s thighs clenched, straining muscle to keep himself as immobile as possible.

Which was pretty fucking hard with the way Merlin’s mouth teased him. And that weren’t even the worst of it, that bloody stubbly beard of his that just met his skin drove him CRAZY. Eggsy would find the idea completely repulsive, seeing as he’d thrown a strop about it earlier, except his dick hardened to the point of pain and the tip was so tight, almost raw, and glistened with precum. Anyone with a set of eyes, or ears with the way Eggsy panted and moaned, would recognize the sheer ecstasy that unfolded in their bedroom.

Merlin’s tongue slipped out to probe Eggsy’s tight, puckering hole, until it breached entry and Eggsy basically devoured it when he quivered. It dipped in, retracted and repeated the assault until it was wet and loose, aching for more than Merlin’s tongue.

Eggsy sagged against the mattress when he withdrew, leaving him a puddle of nerves with a hard dick. He was about to complain, be whiny and needy about being shafted, until all oxygen left him on a harsh inhale when Merlin attacked his hole. It weren’t no light, delicate strokes of tongue like before, this was vicious and out for blood. Or rather cum as Merlin reached up, grabbed his dick and gave it a few hard tugs as his tongue swirled the perimeter of his arse, then dipped in every few licks.

Circle, circle, circle, insert and repeat; Eggsy saw stars. He wiggled and writhed, unable to keep as still as Merlin wished, because that tongue. That BEARD. Okay, okay, okay!

“Okay!” Eggsy finally screamed, out loud, as he finally tipped over the edge of ecstasy until he was free falling into a euphoric abyss. His brain went offline, taking him an embarrassingly long time to come back and realize Merlin was giving himself a good wank over Eggsy's hole.

Fucking hell, that was hot.

Merlin came with a grunt, much quieter than Eggsy had been, littering Eggsy’s clean arse with his spend, making a right gorgeous mess of him. That’s when Merlin released Eggsy’s cock, then his, and leaned down to take care of his mess. His tongue traveled along Eggsy’s happy trail, swirling around the base of his dick, up the shaft and pressed hard against the slit.

“Hamish!” Eggsy softly whimpered, yet didn’t lack urgency; his dick was sensitive as fuck.

The bastard had the nerve to smile against his taint, that brilliantly evil tongue of his slipped down to consume Merlin’s own spend that had gathered there. Oh, fuck him; Eggsy thought. What the fuck. If he had any juice left in his body, he’d be hard as fuck in seconds. But his member lay limp against his stomach, doing the most pathetic sputter with each pass of Merlin’s wet tongue. Eggsy was now rendered a sloppy disaster, but fuck if he cared as he sprawled like a star fish, breathing slowed to shallow pants when Merlin pressed a final kiss to his hole, that damn beard prickling around the edges, and lifted off.

He didn’t have the energy to even ask where he was headed, and he didn’t need to. Because Merlin returned with damp flannels and soft kisses up and down the inside of his thigh as he cleaned him off.

“So,” Merlin murmured, offhandedly, as he tossed the used rag in their laundry hamper. He climbed back up to settle beside Eggsy and rubbed his chin along his shoulder; it tickled a bit. “Change your mind about the beard?”

“Mmphrmskh,” Eggsy answered.

Merlin smiled against his shoulder, dropped a tender kiss there, and nuzzled his neck. “I thought so,” he whispered, sounding well pleased with himself.

So maybe Eggsy wasn’t TOO sorry about the scruff, and let Merlin keep it for an extra week...or two, but who was counting? 

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on tumblr! @stronglyobsessed


End file.
